“My version of self destruction is quiet. It doesn’t look like picking up alcohol bottles at 8 o'clock in the morning, nursing a relentless hangover and wondering who the hell crawled out of your bed this morning without so much as a cursory goodbye. It doesn’t look like lost jobs and unpaid bills and transcripts that are so full of shit that its a wonder someone hasn’t asked you what’s wrong with your fucked up head yet. No, my destruction is quiet, exquisite in its subtlety but no less destructive in its results. My self-destruction looks like quiet nights at home when you know you should be out with people who love you. My self-destruction looks like a torrent of self-doubt and self-hate that you have way too much pride to reveal but not enough self-esteem to discard. My self-destruction looks like looking for signs they hate you in the most innocuous of actions. It looks like cigarette burns in a white t-shirt that are really only there to prove that you can feel, that you can hurt. My self-destruction is lovely, isn’t it? How many other versions can you find that kill the person without hurting anyone else? I pride myself on that uncanny ability in battle, to be both the target and casualty. After all, there is no harm in self-destruction if you are both”
— L.A.L. || When you’re your own collateral damage